Friday, June 5, 2009

Legally (hyphen) Married

So much good news for gay rights and same sex marriage but after seeing another YouTube video expressing so much love and commitment, I have changed my mind. Same Sex marriage should have nothing to do with love or with state's rights - it is a Federal level issue of Civil Rights and of Separation of Church and State.

Gay people have been getting Married since at least the 80's; maybe not in the eyes of most religions or religious organizations but in the eyes of their family, friends and their God. What they haven't gotten is any recognized legal rights except in a handful of states and countries.

What same sex couples and couples overall want is to be Legally-Married.

Legally is the government issuing a license to two people who have decided that they want to be joined together so they can receive over 1000 legal rights - including taxes, hospital, death, emigration, parental, inheritance etc. This is recognized on the state, federal and international levels and does not require the approval or involvement of religious organizations. If a couple doesn't want any legal rights or benefits, they can be Married (no hyphen).

Hyphen is the joining of Legally and Married so that one man and one woman (because Federal doesn't recognize same sex Legallys)  can have all the rights and happiness of being Legally-Married. 

Married is celebrating the request of two people to be joined in love in the eyes of their God, their friends and their family.  It is usually performed/controlled by a religious organization but is not required i.e. commitment ceremonies. 

Divorce ends Legally, involves lots of paperwork and usually a lawyer. It is what the government requires to terminate the license that gave two people over 1000 legal rights. Divorce is accepted by religious organizations and ends Married but religious organizations don't have ceremonies, words or procedures, they just follow the government. However, some religious organizations do require an annulment to get Married by them a second or third or more time.

Death ends Legally-Married but still requires lots of paperwork and a lawyer from the government to end Legally but nothing from religious organizations to end Married.

State regulation controls the state level rights and the conditions of which two people can be Legally - age, family relations (some states allow 1st cousins others don't), sex of people, number of people and historically but, no longer, race and/or religion.

Federal accepts and recognizes all state regulations for Legally and adds additional federal rights EXECPT for State Legallys that are between people of the same sex. Federal, to my knowledge, also does not recognize Legallys of the same sex from other countries for emigration and probably hospital visitation . This, President Obama, makes same sex Legally a Federal issue. 

I was engaged to be married. I got down on one knee in the middle of a restaurant on Valentine's Day, he said yes and I slipped the ring on his finger. It didn't end in marriage but I would like to get married when I find the right man. 

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