Saturday, March 12, 2011

BATTLE: LOS ANGELES


We're doomed!

I knew all was lost (I'm talking about the movie not necessarily the ending) when after the title they spent the next 20 minutes doing character development. At first there were some intense moments but they quickly faded to just plain bad war movie cliches. 

Major issues:
  • The world's reaction to a massive incoming meteor storm.
  • Aliens are going to fight a land war?
  • Aliens from another planet don't have air capabilities?
  • Marines use paper maps and not GPS?
  • A bus? Really?
  • Don't they have sewers in Santa Monica?
  • Is Santa Monica part of LA? I thought this was Battle of LA not Santa Monica.
  • They didn't think the FOB's would be taken out?
  • They thought the missiles were gonna make it?
  • Why did they keep getting into helicopters?
  • They shoot an alien like 200 times but don't kill it and then they dissect one and suddenly they're killing them with 2-3 shots?
  • Alien drones with their weapons integrated into their bodies are pretty lousy shots.
  • No one should have survived this movie, including the audience. 

15 comments:

R.J. said...

I heard this was a stinker of a movie. I'm definitely avoiding it.

David Allen Waters said...

I'll avoid it, thanx for the heads up;)

D@vid said...

Funny review... most movies out right now suck.. I went to see Red Riding Hood last night... It was a cross between Twilight, Werewolf and The Village. Not good... the only good part were the two hot guys in the leads.

Blobby said...

Um. Aaron Eckhart in fatigues. Does anyone care about the plot?

Prospero said...

Santa Monica is actually part of L.A., like Watts or Hollywood. I have heard it's just a loud, confusing movie about explosions. Too bad. Will anyone ever make a really good alien invasion movie?

Mike, Studio city said...

There is a great alien invasion movie, "MARS ATTACKS". People get killed all over the place and we laugh our heads off. That's good cinema.

J@v@JuNKo said...

Whew! thanks! you just saved me 10$!!

becca said...

my younger brothers pretty much agreed with everything you said about this movie as for me havn't seen it

Sean said...

Prospero - I don't think it's possible to make a believable invasion movie anymore. I just think that it would be to easy to strike from the air and take out the grid and satellites. A few months later and we'll have killed each other and starved to death. But that would make for a bad movie.

Mike - I love that movie and I'll add (at great personal risk) Independence Day.

Mike, Studio city said...

I was telling the husband that you reviewed this awful movie called "Battle L.A. He said that was that crap we wre watcing last night and changed channels. It was really bad. Family Guy was better.

Sean said...

Mike - that was one the of cheap Syfy ripoffs(I caught a few minuted) and if possible, it was worse than the the one I reviewed.

Mike, Studio city said...

OMG, I know you go to the movies and I thought it unusual you would review a TV show. I will never see the movie, if I am lucky, and the TV rip off was bad enough.

Ur-spo said...

I am one of the spoilsports who like to point out the improbabilities of sci-fi flicks.
Still, I want to see this bad movie....

Dan said...

So you are saying I should wait for DVD?

Sean said...

I'm saying that if someone gives you free tickets, a limo to the theater, and a 7 course meal with booze - Don't see this movie. Now if Arron were to be included, wearing only a jockstrap then I would consider seeing it but with Arron there, I wouldn't be watching the movie anyway.