Thursday, March 21, 2013

TMI ANSWERS: THE WEIRDEST THING

THE WEIRDEST THING
1. You've eaten...

This won't be weird for most of you but one night while eating Chinese food with my mom, sister and brother-in-law, my sister bit into a super hot pepper. Her reaction was so extreme that my b-i-l didn't believe her so he bit into to it. I had to see for myself and like a fool, bit into it. I think my mouth is still burning over 20 years later! 
This is a real pic.
2. You've seen...
Thanks to the internet I have an endless list of things to choose from but I'd have to say that People of Walmart provides the most consistent supply of weirdness but my final answer is the some of the mug shots I come across in my never ending hunt for sexy, hot guys to post. These people are so weird that I think they must be mutant humans. 
3. You've done...
I'm terrible at remembering things like this for two reasons. First, I have a bad memory (I think) and second, what many would classify as weird I would think of as just being open minded. I'll go with making out with a woman for the first and last time on my 30th birthday. We were both drunk and had a good time but no amount of alcohol was going to make me take her blouse off but I do remember having a stiffie most of the time.
4. You've smelled...
I think most people would find that my liking the smell of fresh horse or cow manure or skunk (from a distance) is pretty weird although I do know that I'm not alone in this. The worst thing I've smelled was the stench of the Fresh Kills Landfill on Staten Island - it was really rank that day and brought tears to mine and my cousins eyes. It was this way for a few year but 440 is the only way to get from Long Island to lower NJ and Great Adventure. 
5. You've heard of...
I can't think of anything.
6. You've put in your mouth...
Do toes count?
BONUS
The weirdest thing you've done sexually...

To quote Dan Savage, "Having sex in the missionary position for you whole life, that's NOT normal." I think what one, two or more consulting adults do is up to them as long as not gets hurt. Too badly. I will say that the GIF of the guy sitting on a dildo almost the size of a fire hydrant (there's a big enough market for a company to manufacture that???) seemed pretty weird to me.



TMI Questions 
Fun, slightly embarrassing questions designed to reveal Too Much Information for my blog, between you and your significant other and among you and your friends and/or family.

POST YOUR TMI ANSWERS Post and answer the questions on your blog or tumblr page and then post the link in the comments so that others can read your answers (directions here), visit your website and get to know you too. I post my answers on Thursdays.

4 comments:

  1. I am amused at your use of "stiffie".

    Mostly because I have two pubescent sons whose whole world revolves around bodily gas or their penises. At this rate, I will never grow up.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Sean:

    1) Years ago, while in Shanghai, I went to Beijing for a short sight-seeing day. My hosts arranged for their niece, "who had been to America" as my guide. Turned out she was a 17 year-old tennis player, she and her girl friend, more typical of teens than I expected, took me to the restaurant where Richard Nixon hosted Chairman Mao for dinner -- the dining room had huge (4'x10') photos of that event. They did not speak English nor I Chinese, but they had a Sony translator, so one word at a time, we sort of communicated. For lunch, giggling the whole time, they ordered my duck gizzards and tongues! Weird, but oddly yummy.

    2) Well, that pic you posted with the question, now ranks pretty high on the list!

    3) My "try making out with a girl" stunt was during my sophomore year at Cal. As with you, I was thinking, what the fuck am I doing, this is just weird!. Fortunately, the Steamworks was only a 10 minute bus ride from my dorm, so it was a quick shower to rinse off the "ick" factor, and lots of man sex to cleanse my brain!

    4) My dad was an excellent chef, limited in his repertoire, but he made amazing curries (he was half Hindu) and sides, and, interestingly, the very best Crepes Suzette ever!

    But for odd smells, he once tried, and so miserably failed, at Tomato Curry -- just writing this and my nose curls -- and that was 35 years-ago!

    5) The horrific story out of Germany a few years ago about the father who kept one of his daughters in a basement dungeon, impregnating her multiple times.... That was a case where I thought, God, have NO mercy for that man.

    6) Hmmm, maybe a mix a duck gizzards and tongues?

    BONUS) Way too many to admit to...sex clubs and bathhouses, and all. Hey, I love letting guys show me their fantasies.

    One favorite, though, was being bent over a second story balcony rail, at 3am, at a house on La Brea (the West Hollywood/Beverly Hill divide area). He was giving me as much fun as he was pounding for himself, and 15 minutes later, we both blew at the same time. The glow and afterglow was soon interrupted, when we heard applause! 5 or 6
    guys, obviously headed home themselves from nights of debauchery, had gathered below the balcony!

    ReplyDelete
  3. No, Sean. Toes do not count as weird.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Nate - I don't think so either but it makes for a better answer and gives me a reason to post that pic.

    ReplyDelete

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